What Happens In Vegas
by StupidNeko2008
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke gets thrown out by his parents. Uzumaki Naruto gets fired. Both seek a good time in Las Vegas, though getting married wasn’t exactly what they had in mind...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story**

_Author's Note_

_Hello everyone! This is my first story. I got the idea from a film starring Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher called "What Happens In Vegas" It's the usual predictable, cliche, chick flick. I don't have a beta, so please forgive any grammar or spelling mistakes. I posted it on AFF, but for those who don't go on there, I shall post it here!_

_I'm a big girl and I can take criticism, but please don't be too harsh...I'll get on with the story, ne_?

**What Happens In Vegas**

_**Chapter One**_

A raven haired man stepped out of his carefully parked, black Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren and made his way to the front door of the Uchiha family home. Normally when he arrived home, his mother would greet him and tell him that dinner would be ready soon or his "girlfriend" Sakura, would latch onto him and beg him to take her out. Even the 80 hours a week at his boring office job wasn't enough time away from her. Of course he didn't actually need to work, the Uchiha's were more than comfortable with their finances and he was certain he would replace his father when he retired. No, a job for Sasuke was a hobby, a chance to get away from home.

Sasuke Uchiha believed that no one was perfect, but he was damn close. He was organised, reliable, good-looking, intelligent and tried his hardest to please his father. So when he stepped through the door and was confronted by his not-so-happy looking parents he was slightly confused. He hadn't done anything wrong? Or had he? He sighed, whatever it was he was going to know about it soon as he father opened his mouth and his lecture began.

"I don't know what is going on in your head, but it really is not acceptable Sasuke." Came the harsh tone of his father.

"Poor Sakura, you should have seen her, completely destroyed." His mother shook her head, she didn't sound angry, just disappointed, which was even worse. What the hell had he done?

"Look can you just tell me what I've done?" Sasuke said impatiently

"You know very well! Sakura found this in your room" shouted Fugaku as he picked up a magazine from the coffee table and held it up for Sasuke to see.

_'Shit.'_

His dark eyes roamed over the very naked, very male bodies on the glossy front cover. Fugaku was holding up the latest issue of "Bent magazine"

"I can explain--" Sasuke blurted out, even though he had b no /b idea how he was going to explain this. Should he lie? Say it was Itachi's? Or that he bought it for Sakura? Ugh, no. He might as well tell the truth, maybe then he could break up with Sakura? It's not like he actually wanted to date her anyway. The only reason there was any sort of relationship between them was because of their fathers, Mr Haruno was a very influential man, and very useful to Fugaku. Anyone could see that it wasn't going to last, but his father was doing his best. He had recently bought them two tickets to Las Vegas, so they could have some "fun" together, though a weekend alone with Sakura was far from Sasuke's idea of fun.

"We are waiting Sasuke." The elder Uchiha said gruffly.

"I'm gay." There, he said it. He had bought that magazine because he was curious, women didn't interest him and on the one occasional he had attempted to have sex with one, it ended disastrously. He got much more enjoyment with his right hand and some lube, without all the hassle. Whether he was gay or not, he didn't know, few men really excited him, he gathered he was probably asexual.

Mikoto rushed to Sasuke's side and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Sasuke, darling, I know growing up can be very confusing but-"

"Mother, I'm 22 years old." Sasuke stated angrily.

She sighed. "But how do you know for sure? I mean, you haven't been with Sakura that long, and you know how much she loves you. But if you don't like girls, then you don't like girls. Oh, I was expecting such lovely grandchildren from you…" Mikoto's rambled away sadly.

"Mikoto, I don't care if he doesn't like girls. It's a scandal. What will Mr Haruno say when he finds out about this?"

"I don't care what he thinks. I never wanted to go out with Sakura anyway." Sasuke was completely fed up with this.

"Don't be like this sweetie" His mother held him gently "Everyone experiences feelings for the same sex at some point. You're bound to get curious and want to experiment different things." He looked at the small woman in shock, was she trying to give him "the talk"? She carried on "I know how you feel, I went through this phase too, I fooled around with a couple of friends--"

Sasuke grimaced at the sudden mental image of his mother and her lesbian experiences. "Please. Stop."

"It's not too late Sasuke, we can explain to Sakura that this was just one big misunderstanding and we can continue with the wedding plans--" Fugaku said, the suggestion sounding more like an order.

"What wedding plans!? Look I'm not going to date that woman anymore let alone marry her. So just accept it." Sasuke broke free of his mother's embrace and was just about to retreat to his bedroom when his father stopped him.

"Then you can find somewhere else to live."

A small gasp came from Mikoto, but she didn't say anything, not wanting to go against her husband's word.

Well, if that's what they wanted. "Fine"

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki stretched lazily on his futon and yawned, was it time to get up already? He grabbed his phone on the floor and pressed a button which lit up the screen, revealing the time.

"Shit, not again!" the blond hastily jumped out of bed. He continued cursing as he threw some clothes on and left his small apartment.

* * *

The sound of the door closing brought Naruto out of his peaceful nap on the counter. Blue eyes slowly blinked open to find his boss glaring in front of him, arms crossed over his chest.

'_Damn, he's pissed.'_ Naruto gulped.

"You were late today."

"Yeah, I overslept, I'm so--"

"Didn't get enough sleep? That must be why you're taking a nap now, when you should be working."

"Oh come on, give me a break, there is no one here!" The blond tried to defend himself

"You're fired."

"What!? Don't do this to me!" Naruto screeched.

His boss' blue eyes softened, "I'm sorry Naruto, but it's the last straw. I don't want to do this, you're like a son to me, but--"

"Dad, I **am** your son." Naruto stared at him incredulously.

The older blond chuckled, "Yeah I know, but that doesn't change anything. You need to step up and become a man. Come back to me when you're ready to work and I might still have a job for you." Minato gave his son a firm pat on the shoulder before dragging him out of the shop

* * *

Sasuke ordered a drink from the dark-haired barman, Sai, who was also his closest friend. Sasuke often came to this bar and the two brunets got on quite well, though Sai sometimes irritated the Uchiha, he was one of the only people Sasuke could half trust.

* * *

"I'm unemployed." The blond stated glumly.

"It will be fun! You can spend the rest of your life doing whatever the hell you want!" Kiba slapped him playfully on the back in an effort to cheer up his best friend.

"What am I going to do with no money?"

"Yeah there's that…" Kiba suddenly realised the flaw in his plan. He was really dense for a lawyer, Naruto often wondered how the hell Kiba made it through law school.

"There are lots of things I can do for money, I'm good at stuff! Hey, I bet you £1 I can finish this beer before you" Naruto grinned, grabbing his drink, he really sucked at being depressed.

"You're on."

* * *

Sasuke quickly downed his shot.

"And my father still won't recognise me, even when Itachi is locked away in a padded cell far, far away. I do everything, everything to please him." Sasuke slammed his empty shot glass back on the table.

"Here's my suggestion" Sai began wisely "Once a week we get some of my brother's loser friends and we go to your house, ring the door bell and hope your dad opens. When he does, '_BAM_!' just punch him right up in his man business and he's going to keel over, crying 'Why?' Then they'll go. '**You** know why.' "Sai's plan was accompanied by various hand movements and facial expressions, which Sasuke would of found amusing if he had been sober, but as he was drunk he listened intently.

"Wow. Did you just come up with that?"

"Yep. I'm very imaginative. But, wait! I have another idea! I know exactly what you need."

* * *

"Where's the one place you can step up and be a man?" By now Naruto probably had one beer too many.

"Where's the one place you can act like a total idiot?" Sai asked as he poured Sasuke another drink. "Vegas."

* * *

"Vegas?" Kiba inquired. "Are you sure?"

"Hell yeah, Las Vegas, baby!" the loud blond shouted, drinking his last beer.

* * *

"Yeah! It's care-free, spontaneous, fun!" Sasuke finished his last shot. "We're going to Vegas!"

**_TBC_**...(It gets better...I think...)


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note:

Thanks to The-13th-Vampire and rascalchibi for reviewing! Also to anyone else for favourited it or whateverrr.

I hate that you can't do spaces on here!! Or maybe you can I'm just being stupid :)

And btw I'm sorry if Sai is really OCC, I haven't been keeping up to date with Naurto so I don't really know him. I couldn't think of anyone else Sasuke could go with...  
+ I have borrowed a few lines from the film... ;)

**_Chapter Two_**

After the long flight Sasuke was more than happy to dump his suitcase in his room and jump straight in the shower. He gave the room a look around, it was nice enough, not as luxurious as some of the places he had stayed in, but it was tastefully decorated and furnished well. There were two double beds, a bar and a large plasma TV. He deemed the room acceptable, grabbed one of the hotel's fluffy white towels and headed for the bathroom.

* * *

Naruto and Kiba had just waited over an hour at reception. Apparently there was a problem with the computers, but eventually they got the key to their room.  
Naruto had never stayed in such an expensive place, but thanks to Kiba's lawyer income, they could splash out a bit, though the numerous pieces of artwork and furnishings were a little too posh for his tastes. His eyes lit up when he caught sight of the bar. A refreshing beverage was exactly what he needed right now!

"I'll have whatever your having buddy." Kiba grinned as he went off to explore the rest of the room. "Awesome!" He cried as he spotted the large double beds. "This is where I pass out." He undid his belt "Jeans, you're out of here." He peeled off the denim and discarded them somewhere on the floor. Deciding to go to the toilet before he relaxed, he went to the bathroom…

* * *

Once Sasuke had stripped off and was inside the shower cubical, a topless Sai entered armed with his wash bag. He was just about to tell Sai to get the hell out when they both heard noises. Sasuke turned off the running water and they both listened. Sai bravely approached the door, but before his hand reached the door knob, it opened…

* * *

Blue eyes focused, and a pink tongue darted out in concentration as Naruto tried to pour the alcohol as accurately as possible. His hard work however was interrupted by a loud, high-pitched scream.

"Has anyone told you, you scream like a girl?" Naruto shouted to his brown-haired friend.

* * *

Kiba didn't even have time to shout for help as the topless brunet unleashed his can of deodorant on his face. Kiba yelled as he tried to protect his eyes from the burning spray. "Ow My fucking eyes-" Temporarily blinded, he pushed past Sai and into the bathroom where he hit his head on the tiled wall "Oww, my fucking head."  
Meanwhile Sasuke covered himself in one of the hotel's white bath robes and attacked Kiba with full force. Many were fooled by his fragile-looking build and feminine features, but they were deceptive, Sasuke was by no means weak. Kiba discovered this as he received a hard punch across this nose.

Naruto was now starting to get worried. The fight had progressed into the bedroom and he could clearly hear more than one voice yelling. He placed his drink on the bar and went to the source of the commotion.

Poor Kiba was lying helpless on one of the beds, a topless, dark-haired man was straddling him and another dark-haired man in a white bath robe was about to throw a lamp at him.

"Hey! What the hell is go-ahhh!" Naruto ducked to avoid the lamp which had been targeted at his head. The lamp smashed on the wall behind him. Sasuke saw his enemy was open for attack and lunged himself at the blond. "Are you fucking crazy!?" Naruto exclaimed as he struggled to throw the raven off him.

"What are you doing in our fucking room!?" Sasuke growled.

"Your room!? This room is ours!"

Sasuke, who was currently straddling the blond's waist, loosened his grip on the tanned neck.

"Oh, looks like there has been a room mix up." He stated calmly and proceeded to re-adjust his bath robe which had loosened slightly, allowing the blond to get a tantalizing view of the exposed, pale chest. Naruto blinked hard, remembering he was supposed be pissed off with this bastard and defiantly not aroused…

* * *

Once dressed, Sasuke marched down to reception with Sai, Naruto and Kiba in tow.

"Just let me handle this." Sasuke strode over to the front desk.

"Excuse me, last time I checked my room doesn't include the "free idiots with your booking" service, so please explain to me what is going on?" Sasuke fixed the small man at the desk with the Uchiha death glare, to let him know he was not the slightest bit amused.

"I'm really sorry, Mr Uchiha, we will change you to the penthouse suites, the best available, sir."

Sasuke returned back to the others with two keys in his hand.

"Pent house suites? Awesome!" Naruto grinned as he took one of the keys from Sasuke.

"Your welcome" Sasuke drawled.

"My name is Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto by the way. Hey, what are you doing tonight? 'Cause if you're free, how about me and my friend buy you a drink?" Naruto suggested, trying to keep the perverted leer off his face.

"No." Sasuke turned to leave.

"Wait! Don't you owe us an apology anyways for nearly breaking Kiba's face?"

"A penthouse suit isn't an apology?"

"Damn, you're a rude bastard!"

"Oh is that another one of your charming chat up lines?" Sasuke smirked.

"Fuck you. Don't you want to have some fun?"

Sasuke hesitated.

"My name is Sasuke, be here at 8."

* * *

Naruto and Kiba were waiting in reception.  
The blond was dressed in a blue t-shirt and baggy, faded jeans. He had even put some wax through his hair for the occasion.

They had been waiting about 10 minutes when Sasuke and Sai joined them. Sasuke was wearing a white shirt that illuminated his pale complexion and dark jeans that rode low on his hips.

"Sorry we are late, Sai took ages getting ready." Sasuke frowned.

Kiba glanced over Sai's attire which consisted of tight leather pants and a leather top which showed off his toned midriff.

"What took him so long? He's hardly wearing anything?" Kiba laughed.

"Let's go." Naruto interrupted before a fight broke out.

* * *

So, Sasuke, what brings you to sin city?" asked the blond over the table, trying his best to be charming. He was not going to let this bastard get away from him.

"I needed a break. What about yourself?"

"Me?" Naruto asked dumbly. He doubt Sasuke be impressed by the real reason. "I'm here on business, big business. I'm a really important guy in my, er, line of work."

"Hn, really?" Sasuke asked with a hint of sarcasm.

_'He's not buying it...'_

"No. Actually, I just got fired. So cheers to that" Naruto said raising his glass.

Sasuke paused before raising his own champagne glass, "I just got disowned by my parents, so cheers to that"

"Did I mention I got fired by my boss/father?"

"Did I mention that my girl friend, who I hate, found a gay porno in my room and told my father and then he kicked me out?

"Hmm, I guess you win. Excuse me?" Naruto gestured to a waitress. "I think we're gonna need another bottle." He grinned. Fortunately for him, Sasuke didn't refuse the extra drinks.

* * *

"I saved a baby today." Kiba said confidently, he was currently trying his luck with a blonde and brunette, who both looked completely uninterested. "I'm not a hero though, I just did what any guy would have done, you know?"

"He's married." Said the bored brunet seated opposite Kiba.

"This is my gay brother. Tell them about your part in that musical? Why don't you show them your dance?"

Sai gave a fake laugh before picking up his drink and leaving Kiba.

* * *

Three hours later, and Sasuke knew he would regret those last rounds of drinks in the morning, but right now he was too far gone to care. Neither Sai nor Naruto's brown-haired friend was in sight. But the blond was still with him. Said blond was behind him. Hands ran slowly up and down his sides before one settled on his hip, the other moved over his stomach before slipping under his shirt to rub the soft yet firm skin there. If Sasuke was sober, he would have broken every single bone in his arm for touching him so intimately. But the alcohol had flooded his system, leaving a delicious buzzing sensation. Feeling rather flirtatious, Sasuke wrapped both arms around the taller man's neck, leaning back slightly into Naruto's hard chest, feeling the heat spread through his body. Naruto responded by grinding his hips into Sasuke's ass, causing the raven to bit back a moan.

"You know, you're the last person I'd sleep with." Sasuke slurred.

Naruto's hand retreated from under his shirt to drift downwards to rub the hardening bulge in Sasuke's jeans. "Sasuke…" Naruto purred seductively.

Sasuke felt his eyes snap shut and he let out a moan. He couldn't remember Naruto's voice sounding so…sexy?

"You're really not…you're really not my type."

* * *

Bright sunlight streamed though the large glass windows and a pounding head ache woke Sasuke the next morning. He was sprawled out on the bed and was pretty sure he looked a complete mess (If that was possible for an Uchiha) He lifted his hand to rub away any sleep in his eyes, that was when he caught sight of the small picture on his hand. There was in black ink _4 Naru _in a red heart. He immediately began rubbing the ink "Please be fake. Please be fake." He sighed with relief as the writing smudged.

But that was when he caught sight of something else. A tacky, gold ring on his finger. That's when it clicked.

_Alcohol. Stupid blond. Vegas. Wedding_

_

* * *

  
_

**_TBC..._**


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Notes: _

_Sorry to keep you all waiting! Thanks to everyone who has expressed interest in this story!_

* * *

_**Chapter Three**_

* * *

At the breakfast buffet, Kiba and Naruto were filling their plates whilst discussing the recent problem.

"Well, you can't get a divorce here. Anyway you wanna get the marriage annulled." Kiba said almost wisely.

"Hmm, what happens in Vegas, you pay for when you get back home."Naruto noted wisely.

* * *

"Was there any point during the evening, um I don't know, maybe the part where I was going to marry a dumb ass, that you thought, 'Hey, this is a really good time for an intervention!'?" asked a rather grouchy Sasuke as he and Sai exited the lift.

"I threw up over myself like 5 times…so…"

"Ugh."

Black eyes met blue awkwardly over the dining hall. Naruto gave him a massive grin and waved.

_'That stupid…'_

Sasuke had no choice but to join his _husband_. He tried to keep the look of utter disgust off his face as he gave the blond that title.

"Heh, morning everyone." Greeted Kiba. Sai just nodded and Sasuke didn't say anything.

"Er good morning!" Naruto said brightly.

"Hn. Do you have any coffee?"

"Well, what's mine is yours!" Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly before passing Sasuke his coffee.

Naruto's comment was followed by nervous laughter.

"Hn. This coffee is good."

"Yeah, it's good. It's er really good. Ridiculously good-"

"We need to talk." Sasuke was fed up with all this small talk and wanted to get this issue sorted out immediately.

"Yeah. Talk? Sure." Naruto put down his drink and followed Sasuke into the small Casino area.

Sasuke idly fished around in his pocket and retrieved a quarter. As Naruto joined him he put the quarter into the slot machine and pulled the lever. The machine lit up and made a few sounds, he watched the panels match, he had won…another quarter.

"Hey… Um great night, huh?" said the blond as he leaned against the slot machine.

_'Great Night?_ Hmm, well some of it was…' Cheeks tinged pink as flashbacks of the previous night returned to him.

_Tanned hands ran up his sides feverously, leaving a burning sensation in their wake, touching him everywhere he wanted it, but it still wasn't enough. Mewling, he wrapped his legs around Naruto's waist, bringing the hard body closer. He felt hot breath tickle the delicate skin on his neck and shivered as Naruto whispered sexy nonsense into his ear. Pale hands fisted the thick, blond hair. Lips crashed into his, leaving him breathless. Then those teasing hands…_

"Sasuke?" Naruto's voice brought him out of his…musings.

"Eh? Yeah last night was…"

"You know, you're a lot of fun."

"Huh? Really?" Nobody had said that to him before. Maybe he wasn't such an idiot after all…

"Yeah really. Though I think we have one _tiny_ problem."

"Hn. I think I know what you're talking about."

Naruto laughed nervously "Okay, well there is no easy way to say this…"

_'Hang on. Is he trying to __**dump **__me?!'_ Sasuke stared at the blond in disbelief. He took what he had just said back, Naruto was a complete idiot. He was an Uchiha damn it, Uchiha's never get dumped. Which reminded him, what the hell was his father going to say when he found out about this!? He pushed the thought to the back of his head for the moment. "Are **you** dumping **me**?"

"Uh..yeah…"

"I came down here to dump **you**."

"You want a divorce too? Well that's great! Not that you're a bad guy or anything, but you look like a lot of work…I mean you look like you want a serious relationship…And well-"

"Are you **dumping** me again? A lot of work? Serious relationship? Hn maybe, so marrying a dumb ass like you is completely out of the question. You can't even keep a job with your own father? A person who is biologically programmed to love you, but even **he** put up with you!" Sasuke snarled.

"Ouch. I guess your true colours are coming out now… You had to come all the way to Vegas and marry and complete stranger to prove to yourself that you're not a robot. Well, congratulations bastard, that's a _**feeling!**_"

"Oh I'm feeling something right now, its called _**nausea!**_"

Sasuke scowled as Naruto began doing a robot impression.

"How old are you, _**five!?**_" he hissed.

"_**Six!**_ Actually, I'm six. You know, this is why we could never work, 'cause I could never, ever put up with someone so _**anal.**_"

"_**Anal!?**_"

"Yes. _**Anal.**_"

"You don't even know me!"

"No I don't, and I have a feeling that you don't even know _**yourself.**_ You know what, I'll call you about the annulment."

"That's fine with me." With that Sasuke proceeded to storm off.

Naruto sighed then spotted the quarter in the slot machine. "Hey! We'll always have Vegas!"

Sasuke turned round to see Naruto holding up his winning quarter. "Hey! That's my quarter!"  
Naruto kissed the coin and Sasuke continued walking, he was _far_ too mature to argue over something so petty.  
The blond slid the quarter into the machine, pulled the lever before walking off as well. Many musical sounds were heard before suddenly an alarm went off.

_  
__Jackpot._

Everyone in the Casino stopped.  
Sasuke and Naruto both turned around.  
The room was filled with clapping and cheering as Naruto began hugging the fruit machine passionately.

Sasuke almost smiled, _'That was my quarter. 3 million dollars. That's enough for me to start my own life without having to crawl back to my father!'_

The hotel manager brought out one of those really big checks and handed it over to Naruto. Sasuke, who was standing near the blond, grabbed the other end of the check. "That was my quarter."

"Haha… "Naruto pulled out a crumpled bill from his pocket. "Well done, you just quadrupled your investment"  
Sasuke snatched the dollar out of his hand and threw it on the floor. "What? Do you think this is all _**yours!?**_"

"Yes, I do. _**I**_ put the quarter in the machine and _**I**_ pulled the lever."  
"_**My**_ quarter on a machine that _**I**_ was using."

The blond gave a hard tug on the check, pulling it out of the other's grasp. "Now if you don't mind, I have a giant check to deposit."

Sasuke smirked. "Whatever happened to 'What's mine is yours' hmm dobe? We're married now, remember?"

* * *

"More importantly your honour, my client only knew Mr Uchiha for four hours, before they got "married". And I don't think I'm wrong when I say that neither of them completely remembers the events of that night." Said Kiba, who was supporting Naruto in court.

"I see." Was all the elderly judge said.

"Please your honour; I have some evidence that proves this marriage was not a sham." Sasuke riffled threw some papers on the desk before finding a plastic bag. "Would a note do?" Sasuke held up the plastic bag which contained a napkin from one of the numerous bars they visited. On the napkin was written _' Naru + Sasu 4eva'_

"Well it's a start."

"And then there's a photo" Sasuke pulled out a blown up photo from behind his seat. The picture was of him and Naruto sometime before the wedding. Naruto had a tanned arm wrapped around the Uchiha's waist and both were grinning. Yes, even Sasuke. It's amazing what alcohol does to one's inhibitions.

"Nice." commented the judge.

"Oh and then there's a video." He turned everyone's attention towards a TV screen in the corner of the court room.

_The video began with a very drunken Naruto holding an equally drunken Sasuke._

_"I'm gonna provide for him. And I'm gonna love him. And I'm gonna…"_

_"Yeah, 'cause we're married now. It's just gonna be me and my sexy dobe."_

Sasuke cringed. He definitely didn't remember saying that.

_The happy couple on screen was interrupted by Kiba, who poked his head in between them "We're all gonna get laid!"_

The video clip ended.

"Was that you, Inzuka, his lawyer?" The judge sighed. "Your generation makes me sick. Marriage is supposed to be about love and commitment. I've been married to the same woman for twenty-five years! When I said those vowels, I actually meant them. Before or should I say _if_, I allow either of you two out of this marriage, I'm going to make sure you try everything, and I do mean _**everything**_ to make it work."

Naruto tensed in his chair, while Sasuke stood up.

"Objection your honour, you _**can't**_ do this."

"Just watch me. Now do either of you have a place to live?"

"Well, I don't at the moment sir but-"

"Hmm what about you blondie?"

"Yes…"

Sasuke sighed and sat back down defeated.

"Okay great. I am _freezing_ the three million dollars for the next six months and sentencing you two to six months hard marriage and ordering you both into weekly marital counselling, other wise I'm going to make sure that the annulment procedure is so long, so expensive, that neither one of you will every see a penny of that money. Got it?"

* * *

Kiba and Naruto were outside the court.

"Can he _do_ that?" Naruto sighed.

"He's a judge, he can do whatever he wants. If you just do what he says, then he'll have no choice but to grant you a divorce and then you split the money between you."

"…You didn't do _**anything**_ in there!" Naruto cried exasperatedly.

"_**What!?**_"

Naruto spotted his "wife" and walked over to where he was standing with Sai.

"So, six months of marriage huh? It's gonna be tough…"

"I think I can deal with it. If you're insinuating that I'm the one that can't do this, then you really are as stupid as I thought."

Kiba stepped in between them before Naruto's temper got the better of him.

Sai spoke up "Hey, just think of it as a business arrangement. Stay married for six months and get 1.5 million dollars."

* * *

_TBC..._

_

* * *

  
_


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Notes: Ok I haven't updated in ages...but I'll be good now I swear :D_

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favourtied etc. Really means a lot to me :)_

* * *

**Chapter Four**

* * *

Sasuke and Sai were buzzed into the apartment block and they met Naruto and Kiba waiting for them on the 7th flight of Stairs.

"Smile for the camera!" said Sai who was holding a box of Sasuke's things and a camera phone.

Sasuke pulled a pack of beers out of the box he was carrying. "Look what I got my new _husband._" He said through gritted teeth.

"Aww look who's trying to make their marriage work!" Sai filmed Sasuke offering Naruto the beer. Video footage of Sasuke making an effort would surely swing the judge in his favour.

Kiba caught on to his idea and pulled out his phone.

Naruto smiled awkwardly at the camera. "Oh thank you baby! I'll buy you a big box of tampax just so I can thank you, because that's what good hus-"

Sasuke's eye twitched in annoyance. "_**Tampax!**_ I'll tell you where you can shove your tampax…" he growled.

Naruto sensed his life was in danger so he hoisted Sasuke into the air and carried him bridal style into the apartment. "Shall we, Mrs Uzumaki?" (how cliché hehe)

"Stop referring to me as the fucking woman in this relationship and put me **down!**" Sasuke hissed, kicking his legs in Naruto's arms.

Once they were into the room, Naruto dropped Sasuke promptly. "Whatever you want baby."

Sasuke picked himself off the floor and scanned the room, which was the lounge and kitchen. It was cluttered and messy, but not as dirty as he thought it would be. The place was a complete mess, not that he expected anything less, though he could deal with it. "Ok, I can do this…" He reassured himself and turned around to inspect the bathroom behind him.

"Fucking..." He caught sight of the stained toilet seat, the grubby bath and the sink covered in a thick layer of hair. "I can't do this!"

Naruto glanced around the bathroom casually, "Just don't throw all that hair away, I'm saving it up to make you something nice. Like a hat…or a sweater…"

Sasuke stared on in disgust. "You're going to clean this up." demanded the Uchiha.

"Ok. I'm not here under court order, so I'm out of here." Kiba patted Naruto on the back and waved.

Sai put the box he was carrying down, "I'm off too. Remember 1.5 million dollars."

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. It was going to be a long six months…

* * *

It was quite late and the happy couple were going to bed. Naruto brought a duvet and pillow out from a cupboard a placed them on the sofa.

"That looks like it's going to bed comfortable for you." Sasuke eyed the sofa, there was no way he was going to sleep on that. "Where's the bedroom?"

Naruto sighed, too tired to argue, he pointed to a futon in the corner of the room.

Sasuke approached the futon and was confronted with a horrible smell. "This fucking stinks."

Naruto smirked.

Sasuke peeled of the covers and was horrified to find numerous socks and undergarments amongst the stained sheets.  
Perhaps he should sleep on the floor? At least then he wouldn't pick up any STDs.

* * *

It was six am and Naruto was rudely awakened by the roar of the blender.  
This morning Naruto discovered that Sasuke was very partial to his daily smoothie. Sasuke smirked and Naruto threw a pillow over his head to try and block out the horrendous noise.

* * *

This morning Naruto also discovered that Sasuke liked to take him time in the bathroom, because a hairstyle like his needed a lot of maintenance.

Unfortunately for Naruto, he was very desperate for the toilet.

"Umm, honey, I need to get in there for a sec." Naruto said, crossing his legs.

Sasuke ignored the pet name and briefly paused his preening, "Hang on, I'm almost done, I'll be right out"

"Um 'be right out' isn't really gonna work. How about, 'be right out right now'!"

"I'm _almost_ done." He repeated, not bothering to speed up at all.

Sasuke spent one more minute adjusting his hair before deciding to let the blond use the bathroom. "Fine dobe you can-" Sasuke stopped in shock.

Naruto was standing on a chair, peeing, yes peeing into the kitchen sink.

"Too late. You only have yourself to blame." He said calmly, "Oh yeah, it's your day to do the dishes." Sasuke stared in disgust as Naruto pissed all over the already dirty dished in the sink. Surely this couldn't actually be happening? "Well the adults have to go to work now. What are you going to do all day?"

"I dunno yet…" the blond said thoughtfully.

"Hn."

"I'd rather do nothing and be happy that do something I know I don't love."

"Hn. 'Happy' doesn't pay the bills dobe." Sasuke grabbed his bag and left.

"Hey, don't get hit by a bus!" Naruto called after him, "Or do…Whatever…" he shrugged.

* * *

Sasuke typed idly at his computer. Only had three hours to go, then it was time for the first counselling session. He wondered if he should inform his parents of his situation… His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing phone on his desk.

"Hello, Sasuke Uchiha here."

"Yo." With that extremely casual answer, he knew it was his boss on the other line. "Bring Hyuuga and come to my office."

"Of course."

_'What did the boss want with him? And why did he have to bring that Hyuuga?'_ Even though they worked together, they hardly even spoke to each other unless it was necessary.

Sasuke easily spotted Neji's desk.

"Uchiha." Neji stated, even though Sasuke was still a few steps behind him.

"Hyuuga. Hatake wants to see us in his office." He said in a clipped tone.

The other nodded and they both walked to his office in silence.

Sasuke knocked on the door.

"Come in!"

They both entered.

Kakashi put down the orange-coloured novel (suprise suprise...) he was reading and stood up from behind his desk.

"Hello gentlemen. Let's get straight to the point. As you know Hatake publishers is rapidly growing, with Jiraiya, the publishing project manager retiring, there is a promotion and a office up for grabs."

Sasuke and Neji glanced at each other.

"So it's out of you two. Good luck

* * *

It was 4:25.  
Naruto and Sasuke were outside the building, 5 minutes early for their appointment.

"You ready to do this?" the blond asked.

Sasuke exhaled deeply, "Pretend you don't make me vomit every time I look at you? Yes."

* * *

"So…Naruto, tell me about yourself. What are your hobbies?" asked the busty woman in the chair opposite.

Naruto and Sasuke were sitting _far _too closely, the blond had an arm around Sasuke's shoulders and the Uchiha was doing his best to resist the urge to bite it off.

"Hobbies? Um you mean besides my marriage? Well…Mostly I just like loving him. Um, what else? Oh! Listening. I **love** listening to what he has to say. Actually…" He reached into his jacket pocket, "I carry this notebook around with me, so I can write all those mono-syllabic words down. What else… Being there for him… Just loving him till it hurts…That's most of my interests really…"

The raven looked at him is disbelief, what a load of bullshit.

The doctor nodded. "And Sasuke?"

Sasuke forced a smile on his face "I have to agree. You know most people would probably be repulsed to find his dirty socks and underwear at the bottom of the bed, touching them in the middle of the night. They might want to scrub and scrub to get the stains and scent of them, but not me. I love it."

The blonde raised her eyebrows. "You do realise that I do have a few degrees, and I went to a bunch of expensive schools, so I'm not buying any of this shit. Now, if you want me to report that you're both working on your marriage, you're gonna actually have to do that."

Realisation dawned on them and they slowly shifted away from each other on the sofa.

* * *

Tonight the couple were going to spend some quality time together. Watching TV.  
Sasuke who was dressed very casually this evening, in a plain white t-shirt and grey sweat pants had just made some popcorn. He was in an average mood, so maybe the dobe would get some if he was lucky. He carried the big bowl over to the couch and sat down at a comfortable distance away from Naruto.

Sasuke watched Naruto slip his hand under the waistband of his trousers and scratch down there. After a few moments of scratching, Naruto pulled out his hand and dipped in straight into the popcorn bowl. Sasuke threw up a little bit in his mouth. Naruto munched on his handful, completely oblivious.

"Yes, that is the flavour I wanted. The toffee one is nice, but I really much prefer "Naruto's sweaty balls" flavour. Thanks."

The blond sighed and grabbed the bowl from Sasuke and proceeded to empty the contents down his trousers, ignoring the murderous intent coming from the man next to him.

* * *

[_The following week at the golf course..._]

"Marriage is _**hard!**_ I don't know how people do this." Naruto swung his club and sent the small golf ball flying through the air. "And I haven't had sex in forever!"

"Well, I've been doing a little bit of research…" said Kiba replied.

* * *

[_Over at the gym..._]

"I don't know if I can do this Sai." Sasuke complained, he wasn't oine to just give up, but this blond idiot was really pushing him to his limits.

"Funny you should say that…" Sai grinned. Determined to beat Kiba, he had been investigating some cases...

* * *

"In this particular case, the husband came into a ton of money. The court said if they both want the money, they had to remain together and prove they could make it work." Kiba said

* * *

"But then, she proved he had been unfaithful, the judge rolled in her favour." Sai said smugly.

* * *

"And gave her all the money! See the judge said that **you** had to prove that you were trying to make the marriage work, but if we can make it seem like **he** isn't…I don't know why I haven't thought of this before!" Kiba cried, he wasn't useless damn it!

"'Cause you're not a very good lawyer!"

* * *

Sasuke smirked, it sounded almost too easy. "So if I can get Naruto to leave me or _cheat_ on me…"

"Not only would you end the marriage, but you will also get all the money."

_"Perfect."_

* * *

_**TBC... **_


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who favourited/alerted and what nots :D Fast update for you my lovelies! _

_Replies to reviews at end of chapter!_

* * *

_Chapter Five_

_

* * *

_

Naruto was just in the process of leaving Sasuke a few presents in the bed, when there was a knock on the door. He quickly shoved the undergarment down the bottom of the futon and opened the door.

He was greeted by two brunettes. Naruto being a normal, red blooded (bi-sexual) male, found these two ladies very attractive with their low-cut dresses and alluring, feminine scent.

"Excuse me, me and my sister got locked out of our apartment, do you mind if we waited here until the lock smith arrives?" She bit her glossy bottom lip.

"He said it would only take a few hours…" the other sister said in a seductive purr.

_'It wouldn't hurt…would it?'_ Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Uh…Sure!"

"Thank you _so_ much." They smiled sweetly at him.

"Also, we were going to have some friends over tonight, would you mind if they waited in here too?"

"Ah, yeah, no problem!" Naruto showed them inside. "Welcome."

A few minutes later there was another knock on the door.

"Those are probably our friends." One of the brunettes told him.

Sure enough at the door was a bunch of very attractive men and women, "Hey, make yourselves at home." he grinned.

* * *

_'It's been about two hours…I wonder if anyone has succeeded yet?'_ Sasuke thought as he opened the apartment door. He spotted Naruto, sitting on his own, not even drinking. _'What's going on? Perhaps he's figured out the same thing we did…?'_ Sasuke frowned. _'Stupid Dobe.'_ He waved to Sai who was chatting up a random guy.

After 30 minutes of the pounding music, he felt a head ache coming on, and all the over-heated bodies in such close proximity were making him feel uncomfortable. That's why Sasuke decided to take cover in the bathroom. He was most surprised however, to find Naruto sitting quietly on the toilet seat, drinking beer.

"Oh, sorry. I was just…trying to find some quiet…" Not wanting to disturb the blond, he began to walk out again.

"It's fine. Do you…want a beer?" Naruto offered.

"Sure."

"Do you really think I'm _dumb_ enough to cheat on you?" Naruto questioned after a moment of quiet.

"I think it's only a matter of time and yeah I think you're dumb enough."

"Wow, thank you for your vote of confidence."

"This must be so _hard_ for you." Sasuke smirked.

"What?"

"Being in a relationship."

"Pshh, I've been in more relationships than you."

"That's because I've been concentrating on my career."

"And pleasing your father."

"It's not like that anymore."

"Oh really? You just can't stand it that even though your brother is locked away, he's still the favourite."

"You don't know what you're talking about! I just wanted them to be proud of me. Though I guess your parents wouldn't know anything about that." He snapped scathingly.

"Yeah maybe my mum wouldn't, might have something to do with her being dead and all though."

Sasuke noticed the sudden pain in those azure eyes, and a strange feeling washed over him. He didn't like it. "Don't expect me to feel sorry for you." He said, longing for the normal routine conversation of insults.

Naruto stepped closer to him. "Oh don't worry _Sasuke_, I don't expect _anything_ from you."

"Good." Not willing to step back, he moved forward.

"And another thing, I'm not going anywhere. Till death do us part."

"Not unless I _**kill**_ you first" Sasuke hadn't noticed before now, but Naruto's face was awfully close, their noses almost touching. He could smell the alcohol on the idiot's warm breath that was tickling his skin. Expressive blue eyes were pinned o him, giving him the strangest urge to tangle his hands in blond locks and crash those lips into his.  
Though he missed his chance as Naruto turned away.

* * *

"He's _**always**_ telling me what to do!"

"He _**never**_ listens!"

"It's like he's _**always**_ there!"

"He's not even a _**grown up**_!"

"He wakes up at _**6am**_!"

"He literally does _**nothing**_ all day!"

"I just can't do _**anything**_ right!"

"One time, he _**pissed**_ in the sink!"

"He's driving me _**crazy**_!"

"What kind of animal _**pisses**_ in the sink!"

_**"It's like he doesn't even want this marriage to work!"**_

Their heated discussion ended, "Alright, you're arguing. Now that sounded like a real married couple. You're making progress!" Doctor Tsunade praised.

Naruto and Sasuke glanced at each other, unsure whether that was a good thing or not.

* * *

"Right so Sasuke isn't going to cheat on you." Kiba and Naruto were sitting on a park bench outside the counselling centre.

"And I don't think he's going to leave me. Tch, stubborn bastard."

"I've got it!" Kiba announced. He stood up and bitch slapped Naruto.

"What are you doing!" He stood up alarmed.

"Relax! Just trust me!" He landed a hard punch on Naruto's face.

The confused blond still didn't understand the logic in all of this and punched Kiba in the stomach.

"No! You don't get it!" Kiba protested

Caught up in their fight, they didn't notice a pair of black eyes watching their every move...

* * *

Sasuke and Tsunade were waiting in the office.

Naruto came in five minutes late, wearing dark aviators. He sat down and took of the glasses, revealing the purple bruises that stained his tan skin.

"Naruto, what happened to your face?" said Tsunade, concerned.

"I fell…" Naruto said, his eyes shifting around the room.

"You fell?"

"Yeah…I fell and…hit my head on a door knob…A few times. I fall a lot these days, I'm just so clumsy…" He glanced at Sasuke nervously.

Tsunade raised her eyebrow, "Are you sure?"

"…I deserve it…" He said in a hoarse whisper. "I'm supposed…I'm supposed to line up the hand towels just so, and I didn't…I'm sorry, _I'm sorry!_" he said, sobbing hysterically. "Then he said you put that toilet seat down, or I'm going to put you down!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and got out his phone. He showed the footage of Naruto and Kiba's fight to the doctor.

Naruto stopped sobbing abruptly.

The woman sighed. "Can we get on with therapy now?"

* * *

_[Naruto and Sasuke's answer machine]_

_Naruto: Hi! You've reached the happy couple!_

_Sasuke: We can't come to the phone right now, because we're too busy loving each other…_

_Naruto: And making our marriage work!_

_Both: Leave a message!_

_Sasuke: Press the stop button now, dumb ass._

_Naruto: What do you think I'm doing, you stupid bast-_

_* BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*_

Sasuke had just stepped through the door. He had just enough time to shower and get changed before the next therapy session.

_"Hello, this is Shizune calling from Doctor Tsunade's office."_

Knowing it was something important he picked up the receiver. "Hello, Sasuke Uch… _Uzumaki_ speaking."

"Mr Uzumaki, the doctor needed to cancel today's session and she was wondering if you could do Friday?"

"Hn, do you have anything after 3pm?"

"The doctor can do 4 o clock."

"That's fine."

"Great, I'll see you then."

* * *

"He totally bought it." The blonde smiled.

"Thanks Ino, you're a life saver!" Naruto winked.

"You owe me." Ino said suggestively.

Naruto tried to focus. He didn't need sex. He would go forever without it if he had to. He was definitely _not_ going to give up

* * *

Quietly he opened the door, the sound of running water confirmed that the other occupant of the house was in the shower. He tried to block out the naughty thoughts of a naked, wet Uchiha and concentrate.

He spotted the black bag on the table and rummaged through it. He found what he was looking for, Sasuke's wallet.

Sasuke stepped out of the shower. He was sure he heard the front door slam.

"Naruto?"

He wrapped a towel loosely round his narrow waist and looked around the rest of the apartment. The blond was nowhere to be seen. The he heard a familiar voice.

_"Taxi! Come on! Taxi!"_

Sasuke went over to the window and pulled up the blinds, Naruto was standing in the middle of the road, waving his arms, like an idiot.  
Suddenly a horrible thought hit him. He grabbed the phone and quickly punched in the numbers.

"Doctor Tsunade speaking."

"Hi, this is Sasuke Uzumaki."

"Mr Uzumaki!"

"Ah…Yes…I got a phone call from Shizune saying that our session in cancelled, I just wanted to double check that."

"Your session is definitely still on. Any absence is considered contempt of court."

* * *

At last a taxi pulled up. Naruto was just opening the car door when someone pushed him hard and he fell to the floor.

"Ass hole, trying to make me miss therapy!" the raven hissed and got inside the taxi.

"Take me to Sannin therapy centre."

The blond slammed his fists on the car window, but the vehicle sped off leaving him behind.

Inside, Sasuke gave a satisfied smirk. He felt his phone vibrate. The caller id told him it was Naruto.

"What do you want?"

"Hey baby, good luck paying for that cab without your wallet!"

Sasuke paled, he searched through his bag, but only found £2.50 in loose change.

"£2! You stole my wallet! You-"

The cab screeched to a halt. "No wallet, huh? Get out."

"Come on, what do you want?" he asked almost desperately.

"You could show me your dick?" the driver replied in snake like manor (guess who it is? ;p )

"_What!_ I'd rather eat my own vomit."

"Then get out pretty boy."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and got out, just in time to see Naruto flying past on a skateboard.

Sasuke chased after him, stopping at a fruit stall on the way. "How many for 10 of these?"

"2.25" the guy said, putting the fruit in a bag.

"Here, keep the change." Sasuke grabbed the bag and hurried after the blond.

The first orange hit Naruto on his back and he yelped in surprise. Sasuke kept throwing them and Naruto kept yelling, wobbling about on the skateboard. Sasuke threw one particularly hard at Naruto's head and he lost his balance, skating into a stall on the pavement. The raven saw Naruto's moment of weakness and aimed his last orange. The blond rolled about in agony, Sasuke didn't miss his target - Naruto's balls.

Dark eyes scanned for a means of transport, they lit up as he spotted an open tour bus. There was a long queue of tourists and he managed to sneak on without being noticed.

He sat down on one of the seats up top, smirking to himself.

"Is this seat taken?" came a low, husky voice next to him.  
Sasuke almost squeaked.

"Excuse me. Ooops. Sorry!" Naruto said, pushing Sasuke to get to the seat next to him. Sasuke squirmed trying to get the idiot of him. "God, you're so _immature_."  
Once Naruto was seated, Sasuke pushed him with his feet into the railings of the bus. "Oww, you're _hurting_ me!" Naruto whined pathetically.

The bus stopped and the couple pushed past the rest of the people to get off the bus. They were still far from the Doctor's office and they only had 10 minutes. Through the park was the quickest route.

As it was a lovely, sunny day there were many people in the park, enjoying the weather, having picnics and such. One family's picnic was rudely interrupted when their French baguettes were stolen. Said bread thieves where beating each other.

Sasuke swiped at Naruto with the bread and ducked as the blond launched his weapon at Sasuke's head. Abandoning the bread fight they continued to chase each other through the park.

They got to a high stone wall which was behind the centre.  
Naruto had already begun climbing when Sasuke caught up with him. He pulled on the blond's legs and Naruto fell to the ground.

"Idiot."

"Bastard."

* * *

The doctor raised a blonde eyebrow as Sasuke burst through the door.  
Naruto grabbed a struggling Sasuke from behind, the raven's flailing limbs made him loose his balance and they both tumbled onto the sofa.

The doctor coughed and they sat up straight.  
Tsunade glanced at their appearances and scribbled a few notes down.

They were exhausted and panting heavily, but neither could keep the tired smiles off their faces.

* * *

**_TBC..._**

Frozentears596: Sasuke is def. more suited to the female part in my opinion! Hehe yeah I really like the popcorn bit in the movie tooooo!

SadisticxxQueenxx: Thank you for those simple words! It really means a lot to me ^^ Hope this update was fast enough for ya!

moopad: Yeah Naruto is soooo disgusting! I bet there are men probably like that somewhere... blehhh!

kanazerosukenaru: Clever? Naruto? hehe... Yeah I wonder if he ate the popcorn after he did that? Maybe he likes the taste... :o

Shane: Yep Naru is a dirtyyyy boyyyy!

josseline9090: Thanks! Yeah I like those moments too, wish Minato was alive still in the manga/anime :(

: Thank you! Hope you enjoyed this chapter aswell :D

chynna18rawrr: ok right, firstly, there are quite a few of sasunarusasu stories based on 'what happens in vegas', secondly if you go on AFF you will see I posted this story (and completed it) back in 2008, I think this is before the others, so if anything, they are copying me. But since all the stories are based on a movie, they aren't exactly original anyways...


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